Thursday, September 26, 2013

Seven Sweet Days

Sitting here at the airport waiting for my return flight, my heart feels like it could burst, it's so full of emotion. A week that started out with a 8 hour mechanical flight delay, a mid-air turn around and a middle-of-the-night, long, dark drive was magically made right as soon as I saw my sister's smiling face greeting me. We had pizza (in the morning mind you since my plane ended up arriving at 5am instead of 9pm!) and chatted, I became best buds with her dog as soon as I shared my pizza with her and our sweet sister week began.

The rest of the week held so many things....Bookstores, Starbucks, I'm afraid I started my sister on a latte-addiction! Lots of reminiscing, so much laughter, and a hometown adventure. We saw old friends, walked the old neighborhood, enjoyed our hometown Fall Festival, got caught up on the where-abouts to everyone we could think of, and thoroughly enjoyed our stroll down memory lane.

Walking into our hometown library instantly brought back memories of story-time where we were treated to those yummy, pink-iced sugar cookies! I half expected to see them, so blown away at how much the sights and smells can bring you back to your childhood in an instant. I had to look in the mirror to see if I was an adult or not. It's truly amazing how we can come back in time so quickly and how memories can come flooding through our minds, not previously thought of in such a long time.

We visited the cemetery, tears flowed at our mom's grave. I know what made her who she was is not there, but the body that carried her is buried there in the ground.  It feeds my longing for our reunion, where all things will be right. We also visited our grandparents graves, then the brother I never knew but will know in Heaven. Such a good thing to mourn and yearn, I don't despise it for I know God will use it.

 My heart aches for the bittersweet memories, the limit of time and space, the inner-groanings  of my own soul tired of the flesh fight, yet I hope. I'm reminded that hope that is seen is really not hope, but my hope is in the unseen and I wait for it expectantly. This trip has renewed that hope in me.  I'm thankful for this time with my sister, these seven sweet days the Lord gave us to renew our hope, a hope that we cannot currently see.  We both needed the reminder.



Saturday, September 14, 2013

Anticipating Healing

Tomorrow I leave for a week of sister-time, hometown beginnings, and bittersweet memory remembrances.  I am trying my best to have no preconceived expectations, but to be yielded to the Holy Spirit.  To let this trip be what He would have it be.  There will be a visit to the cemetary where our mom was buried 15 years ago.  Time has healed much of the pain, but the ache for her presence never completely goes away.  I'm longing for healing, knowing I will be brought back to times of yesterday.  There are good memories there in that town, and painful ones as well.  To quote Brandon Heath's song, "I'm not who I was", and thank God for that.  He is doing something in me, refining me, transforming me, and I pray, continually healing me.  I want to be  yielded to this process.  I want the chains of shame and deception broken, as much as they can be this side of Heaven.  He came to heal the brokenhearted, to restore, renew, and regenerate.  Lord, let me be sifted, let me grieve, but let me be transfigured more into the image of Your Son in it all.  All the while enjoying the sweet fellowship of a blood relative relationship, the only other person on this planet that understands the memories of that town are both bitter and sweet. Be present in our sister-talk this week and use both the good and bad memories for Your design and purposes.