I'm currently reading Brother Lawrence's "The Practice of the Presence of God", and it's inspiring how simply and humbly he strived after continual communion with God, stating: "This King, who is full of goodness and mercy, doesn't punish me. Rather, He embraces me lovingly and invites me to eat at His table. He serves me Himself and gives me the keys to His treasury, treating me as His favorite. He converses with me without mentioning either my sins or His forgiveness. My former habits are seemingly forgotten. Although I beg Him to do whatever He wishes with me, He does nothing but caress me. This is what being in His holy presence is like. "
This attitude overflows into every part of his life. I aspire to have the same expectation and surrender. To be able to say as he does: "It seems that a tranquil soul and a quiet spirit come to me even while I sleep. Because I am at rest, the trials of life bring me no suffering. I don't know what God has in store for me, but I feel so serene that it doesn't matter. What do I have to be afraid of when I'm with Him?"
Personally, I think one of my strongholds is anxiety. By nature I am not a sound sleeper, but anxiety is not something I can blame on genetics and anxiety has its contribution to my lack of continual rest. I am convicted that it boils down to a lack of trust. and maybe even a lack of thankfulness since God says to be anxious for nothing, but in all things be thankful and His peace will guard my heart and mind. I can lack in the area of a peaceful heart and mind. Going back to God's admonition to me this morning to expect trials and trouble. He tells me I will have it, so maybe if I expected it each day, and was yielded to the fruit and conforming it can bring, I would be less anxious and more peaceful.
Brother Lawrence exhorts us to humility, "as if you were a poor man knocking on the door of a rich man" and fixing your attention on His presence. Thankfully, I have a few examples of this in my own life, times were I was able to remain abiding in the Spirit when stressful or anxious thoughts or situations presented themselves. I wish I could say it was a way of life for me by now, but it's not. I get distracted from this truth and discipline all too easily.
An example of this in my own life that stands out is Pomegranate Juice. I rarely buy it because it's so expensive but on this particular day I did because I had a coupon. When I got home from my shopping trip and unloaded all my groceries, I discovered it was missing. Of course I quickly went into irritated mode. I called the store where I had been to see if I left it there and was quickly and abruptly told they did not have it and there was nothing they could do for me. It was then that I realized other items missing and all the more certain I must've left a bag of my items at the store. I vented my circumstances to God, after all He knew our budget concerns and my by-now-insistent craving for my precious Pomegranate Juice! I prayed for a more compassionate and helpful customer service agent, but also for His will, knowing this may be one of those live and learn experiences to be more aware of getting all my groceries and having to take the loss. When I called back I did get a different agent and she tracked down my left bag of groceries for me with little effort. This is such a small example, but it stands out to me because I was able to remain in the Spirit and have joy and not go right into condemning myself mode. It also is an example where I was able to yield to whatever the outcome would be. It may sound small and silly, but it was a victory for me that day in my mind and holding it captive.
It's also humbling to me to realize I need more of these examples to get it into a practice, a practice of moment-by-moment yielding to His Presence. Expecting trouble in this world, but taking courage knowing that He has already overcome the world and some day, the suffering will cease. So I'm glad I got the Pomegranate Juice I paid for that day, it really hit the spot, but I'm more thankful for the example of remaining in His presence to spite my circumstances. I pray I will learn to continually seek His attention in the big and small problems of life and to train myself to dwell in His presence all day long.
We will make mistakes that cause inconvenience and hardship, we will have not-so-very-helpful Customer Service agents, we will have difficult people to contend with and circumstances that do not have easy answers. We will suffer in this world, but for those of us who look to Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we can remain In His Presence, abiding in Him, trusting in Him. And maybe every once in awhile we can have Pomegranate juice too.
